romeo and juliet < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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In scene five Romeo have a dream,where he is dead at the beginning and he is revived by Juliet.
In consequece of that happy ending he interprets this dream as good sign for his future with Juliet.
He still expects news about Juliet,but instead of Friar Laurence his servant Balthasar comes and he delivers him news from Juliet's death.
At once Romeo decides to follow her till death, because he wants to be together with her.
He buys poison from an impoverished chemist and he sets off to the Capulets' vault.
In the meantime Friar Laurence experices that his comrade Marcus cannot deliver the letter for Romeo, because the pest prevents it.
After that Friar Laurence speeds to Juliet,who will wake up in the next time, to bring her out of the vault.
Paris has already reached the graveyard and he spreads flower in front of Juliet's vault, but then his butler warns him of Romeo. He hides himself and sees that Romeo tries to break open the vault.
Paris takes Romeo to task, but Romeo doesn't want to talk and asks him to leave him. However Paris doesn't give way and they fight against eachother. In the end Paris ist deadly injured and dies. Before Romeo takes the poison, he fulfils Paris' desire and lies Paris next to Juliet.While he is looking at Juliet, he takes the poison.
When Friar Laurence arrives, Juliet is waking up and sees the dead Romeo. Suddenly Friar Laurence hears the Capulets and runs away, but Juliet stay there and kisses Romeo's lips. Besides she knifes herself with a dagger. The Prince, the Montagues and the Capulets come too late and can only see Juliet and Romeo,lying dead on the ground. Friar Laurence gives an account of the occurences. Because of that the old antagonists reconcile themselves and decide to raise a monument for them.
Könntet ihr das bitte einmal auf Grammtatik,Zeit und Formulierung überprüfen...
Vielen Danke im Vorraus
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 17:59 Mi 06.02.2008 | | Autor: | tobbi |
In scene five Romeo have has a dream, where besser: in which he is dead at the beginning and he is revived by Juliet.
In consequece of that happy ending he interprets this
dream as good sign for his future with Juliet.
He still expects news about Juliet,but instead of Friar Laurence, his servant Balthasar comes and he delivers him the news from of Juliet's death.
At once Romeo decides to follow her till death, because he wants to be together with her.
He buys poison from an impoverished chemist and he sets
off to the Capulets' vault.
In the meantime Friar Laurence experices discovers that his comrade Marcus cannot deliver the letter for Romeo, because the pest prevents it him (from doing so).
After that Friar Laurence speeds to Juliet,who will wake up in the next time, to bring her out of the vault. das "next time" macht keinen Sinn, weiß aber auch nicht was du aussagen möchtest
Paris has already reached the graveyard and he spreads flower in front of Juliet's vault, but then his butler warns him of Romeo. He hides himself and sees that Romeo tries to break open the vault.
Paris takes Romeo to task, but Romeo doesn't want to talk and asks him to leave him. However Paris doesn't give way and they fight against eachother. In the end Paris istdeadly injured and dies. Before Romeo takes the poison, he fulfils Paris' desire and lies Paris next to Juliet.While he is looking at Juliet, he takes the poison.
When Friar Laurence arrives, Juliet is waking up and sees the dead Romeo. Suddenly Friar Laurence hears the Capulets and runs hurries away, but Juliet stays there and kisses Romeo's lips. Besides she knifes herself with a dagger. The Prince, the Montagues and the Capulets come too late and can only see Juliet and Romeo,lying dead on the ground. Friar Laurence gives an account of the occurences. Because of that the old antagonists reconcile themselves and decide to raise a monument for them besser "for the deceased", du meinst ja Romeo und Juliet und nicht die Familien.
Generell sollten da eigentlich keine don't und wasn't drin vorkommen, schreib die besser aus!
An einer Stelle (s.o,) versteh ich nicht ganz was du meinst, die Stelle ist auf jedenfall extrem merkwürdig konstruiert.
Zum Ende hin, werden deine Sätze immer abgehakter, da könnte man noch etwas mit ein paar "linking-words" verbessern, muss aber nicht.
schöne Grüße
Tobbi
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 18:05 Mi 06.02.2008 | | Autor: | Teenie88w |
Vielen Dank. Merke gerade,dass ich auch einige Tippfehler gemacht habe,aber gut..........
Liebe Grüße
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