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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Kunst (interpretation)
Kunst (interpretation) < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Kunst (interpretation): Korrektur
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 00:32 Do 15.01.2009
Autor: Pacenia

Aufgabe 1
Write about a painting

Aufgabe 2
Write about a painting!

Who is Roberto Mamani Mamani?                                                                      Let us imagine a picture of a Bolivian indigenous woman carrying a baby in the typical manner in a blanket on her bag. She is selling: Her hands are overloaded with potatoes and in front of her are lying some sacks with more potatoes. It is a daily and simple scene on a Bolivian farmer’s market, but the artist creates an impressive work out of it. Mamani Mamani has the talent to make us immerge into another world. He makes us see the world differently, makes us feel a wealth of feelings and become impressed of the variety of an unknown culture. Mamani Mamani has created his special way of art. He uses strong colours to create strong feelings.
   What we see on his interpretation of the scene is a colourfully stylized image of an indigenous mother. The strong vibrant colours are similar to the Aymaran colours that are used in their traditional hand-made blankets. He makes us see a breathtaking figure of a native woman and manages to merge the potato sacks into the landscape of the Andes.
On the top of the picture radiates the sun. The intensity of it’s yellow and red colours reflect the power that it brings to earth. It’s glistening shine surrounds the woman and creates a mood of aggression and threat. She is painted without a face, also her baby. Her hands are disproportionately big and of the same golden colour as her and her baby’s face, while the potatoes are painted in a soft brown and red colour. She, the potatoes and the undulating mountains, or sacks of potatoes, form a unity in the form of a triangle. But this unity is silhouetted against the denying and suffocating background that encloses the triangle. It catches the main focus of attention while it is surrounded by a filmy white, nerved by a whiff of a red, which brings more stability into the picture and attenuates the aggressiveness of the sanguine and black background. The mountains or potato sacks are of wonderful red, yellow, blue, violet, green and orange shades of colours which we rediscover in the attire of the woman. On this way the artist has emphasized the already described unity of the triangle.

The intensity and variety of the chosen colours is breathtaking. Cold blue and green hues change with warm red, yellow an orange colours and between them is a compensative violet- a mixture of the cold and warm tones- which dissolves the contrast and brings a harmonical interaction between the different colours into being. All the lines in the foreground are rounded and these roundings improve the impression of feminity. The sun is the male part in the painting. It is arced so evenly, that it nearly seems to be a triangle which’s point is not visible behind the woman’s head.    The colourfully stylized image of the indigenous woman is an exact reflection of the colourful and ambivalent Andean life. An impulsive and ebullient lifestyle is threatened with the lack of foods. Potatoes are the base of Andean life. The way the woman keeps hold of them in Mamani Mamani’s execution, expresses the importance the potato has to her and her people. The woman represents the stereotype of an indigenous woman, even more as she is portrayed without a face.
The painting also includes the problem that women are threatened by the men of a patriarchal society, represented by the sun and it’s strong shine as the masculine part of the painting. But we can also see that the next generation, which the newborn stands for, is involved into these problems. However, the woman is not touched by her situation. She stands upright and proud, representing the proudness of her culture that keeps on resisting against western influences. At least it is this wish that uposes upon the contemplator. We feel with a whole nation, feel their tradition, pride, preoccupations, their style of life, philosophy and strength.
All these attributes are integrated into this one painting.
      All in all Roberto Mamani Mamani has created a work of art out of the visions and feelings of his nation. He shows us a vibrating and vivid world with a unique character, a world full of colours, patterns and emotions.
Roberto Mamani Mamani is the embassador of his folk.

Ich habe diese Frage auch in folgenden Foren auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt:

http://www.englisch-hilfen.de/board/ftopic6213.html

        
Bezug
Kunst (interpretation): Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 09:49 Do 15.01.2009
Autor: reverend

Hallo Pacenia,

die einzige Frage, die Du in Deinem Text stellst, lautet: Who is Roberto Mamani Mamani. Die beantwortest Du ja dann recht umfänglich.

Was also fragst Du dieses Forum? Für eine inhaltliche Korrekturlesung kenne ich mich Thema nicht aus. Eine sprachliche Korrektur ist sehr zeitaufwändig, weil der Text lang ist, obwohl Dein Englisch offenbar gut ist.

Beschränke Dich lieber auf Fragen zu den Stellen, an denen Du unsicher bist, dann wirst Du viel schneller kompetente Antworten bekommen.

Liebe Grüße,
reverend

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Bezug
Kunst (interpretation): ergänzung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 13:21 Do 15.01.2009
Autor: Pacenia

liebe forumsmitglieder!
meine frage "who is roberto mamani mamani?" ist eine rhetorische frage, die die einleitung sein soll und nicht die aufgabenstellung. ich würde mich freuen, wenn ihr mir bei der korrektur der grammatik und orthografie helfen könntet!  
Schonmal vielen dank!
liebe grüße
pacenia

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Kunst (interpretation): Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 21:14 Do 15.01.2009
Autor: mmhkt

Guten Abend,
soweit ich das auf den ersten Blick sehen kann, ist es gut gelungen!
Einige Kleinigkeiten sind mir aufgefallen:

> Write about a painting
>  Write about a painting!
>  Who is Roberto Mamani Mamani?                              
>                                         Let us imagine a
> picture of a Bolivian indigenous woman carrying a baby in
> the typical manner in a blanket on her bag. (Sie trägt es auf dem Rücken - also: back) She is selling:
> Her hands are overloaded with potatoes and in front of her
> are lying some sacks with more potatoes. It is a daily and
> simple scene on a Bolivian farmer’s (Es ist wohl ein Bauernmarkt, also mehrere Bauern bieten ihre Erzeugnisse an - also farmers'...) market, but the artist
> creates an impressive work out of it. Mamani Mamani has the
> talent to make us immerge into another world. He makes us
> see the world differently, makes us feel a wealth of
> feelings and become impressed of the variety of an unknown
> culture. Mamani Mamani has created his special way of art.
> He uses strong colours to create strong feelings.
>     What we see on his interpretation of the scene is a
> colourfully stylized image of an indigenous mother. The
> strong vibrant colours are similar to the Aymaran colours
> that are used in their traditional hand-made blankets. He
> makes us see a breathtaking figure of a native woman and
> manages to merge the potato sacks into the landscape of the
> Andes.
>  On the top of the picture radiates the sun. The intensity
> of it’s yellow and red colours reflect the power that it
> brings to earth. It’s glistening shine surrounds the woman
> and creates a mood of aggression and threat. She is painted
> without a face, also her baby. Her hands are
> disproportionately big and of the same golden colour as her
> and her baby’s face, while the potatoes are painted in a
> soft brown and red colour. She, the potatoes and the
> undulating mountains, or sacks of potatoes, form a unity in
> the form of a triangle. But this unity is silhouetted
> against the denying and suffocating background that
> encloses the triangle. It catches the main focus of
> attention while it is surrounded by a filmy white, nerved
> by a whiff of a red, which brings more stability into the
> picture and attenuates the aggressiveness of the sanguine
> and black background. The mountains or potato sacks are of
> wonderful red, yellow, blue, violet, green and orange
> shades of colours which we rediscover in the attire of the
> woman. On this way the artist has emphasized the already
> described unity of the triangle.
>  
> The intensity and variety of the chosen colours is
> breathtaking. Cold blue and green hues change with warm
> red, yellow an (and - fehlt nur das d)  orange colours and between them is a
> compensative violet- a mixture of the cold and warm tones-
> which dissolves the contrast and brings a harmonical
> interaction between the different colours into being. All
> the lines in the foreground are rounded and these roundings
> improve the impression of feminity. The sun is the male
> part in the painting. It is arced so evenly, that it nearly
> seems to be a triangle which’s point is not visible behind
> the woman’s head.    The colourfully stylized image of the
> indigenous woman is an exact reflection of the colourful
> and ambivalent Andean life. An impulsive and ebullient
> lifestyle is threatened with the lack of foods. Potatoes
> are the base of Andean life. The way the woman keeps hold
> of them in Mamani Mamani’s execution, expresses the
> importance the potato has to her and her people. The woman
> represents the stereotype of an indigenous woman, even more
> as she is portrayed without a face.
>  The painting also includes the problem that women are
> threatened by the men of a patriarchal society, represented
> by the sun and it’s strong shine as the masculine part of
> the painting. But we can also see that the next generation,
> which the newborn stands for, is involved into these
> problems. However, the woman is not touched by her
> situation. She stands upright and proud, representing the
> proudness of her culture that keeps on resisting against
> western influences. At least it is this wish that uposes
> upon the contemplator. We feel with a whole nation, feel
> their tradition, pride, preoccupations, their style of
> life, philosophy and strength.
>  All these attributes are integrated into this one
> painting.
>        All in all Roberto Mamani Mamani has created a work
> of art out of the visions and feelings of his nation. He
> shows us a vibrating and vivid world with a unique
> character, a world full of colours, patterns and emotions.
>  Roberto Mamani Mamani is the embassador of his folk.
>  
> Ich habe diese Frage auch in folgenden Foren auf anderen
> Internetseiten gestellt:
>  
> http://www.englisch-hilfen.de/board/ftopic6213.html


Soweit so (wirklich) gut - waren nur Kleinigkeiten.
Meine Anmerkungen erheben wie immer nicht den Anspruch der Vollständigkeit.

Vielleicht findet jemand anderes noch was zum "feinschleifen".

Schönen Gruß
mmhkt

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Kunst (interpretation): Danke!
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 07:39 Fr 16.01.2009
Autor: Pacenia

Danke! Dann freue ich mich und kann meinen Text gzten Gewissens abgeben ;)
Liebe Grüße

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